


Hey Jude! Don't Make It Bad...

by never_more



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Dean Winchester, Eventual Smut, Eventual badassery, F/M, Fluff, I don't know where it's going, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, don't even ask
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_more/pseuds/never_more
Summary: Who knows what this is going to be, I wanted to write something dark and I'm kind of letting it go where it wants. Take a ride with me.(The title is a working title, I'll come up with something better maybe, eventually)
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who even knows if this will see the light of day? If it does, I hope it's not too awful! I'm kind of just experimenting with not having a set plot in mind and just writing, so far we've got eight drafted chapters and I'll see what happens I guess!
> 
> Also, trigger warning to those who need one, this scene details (somewhat) a rape so... read at your own caution.

Jude walked out of the convenience store with a bag gripped tightly her left hand, her right wrapped around the taser in her coat pocket. She knew that she was being followed and was trying not to panic, knowing it would only make it easier for them to catch her. Instead, she headed in the opposite direction of her home, hoping to confuse them long enough to lose them or to get to a crowded area and disappear. Of all nights, why did she have to pick this one to go out, she thought frantically to herself. It was some stupid inconsequential thing, she had wanted a snack and some painkillers, the store was a couple blocks away and it was one of the first mild nights of the year. She kicked herself mentally, over and over, for choosing tonight to do this, of all the nights.  
Sneaking a glance behind her as inconspicuously as possible, she saw the dark figure getting closer, the sound of footsteps echoing hers as they both sped up. Jude, you're in deep, deep shit, she thought. She started running, hoping that there would be a bus stop with people at it further down the road. It was only nine pm where were all the people? This was freaking Seattle.  
A hand grabbed her hair and yanked her backwards from the forward momentum and she started squirming. She managed to tase the fucker once but it only seemed to make him mad. Jude screamed as loud as she could, but knew no one would be coming for her. Screams are common in this city and no one pays them any mind. She was being dragged backwards, the back of her ankles scraping against the concrete, shoes long gone in the struggle, into an alley.  
“No! Let me go!” She screamed as loud as she could again, “Help!”  
He slapped one meaty hand over her mouth and nose so she couldn’t do anything but make muffled noises. His other hand was groping her chest as he dragged her squirming body back behind a dumpster, away from the line of sight of the road. She was thrown roughly onto the ground and hit her head hard on the asphalt. Everything else was in and out after that. She remembered being in pain and trying to get away and a different, sharper pain, in her stomach. Eventually, her mind went blank and she stopped moving, the shock of what was happening settled over her like a cold, heavy blanket. Her body moved with every thrust but she could barely feel anything. Then, everything went dark as she stared up at the cloudy sky and she gave up, the world disappearing and thankfully taking her with it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little cliche I think, I know I had a hard time writing it realistically so I'm just rolling with it. This is fanfiction. It doesn't have to be screen ready, it just has to be plot relevant.

“I can’t believe we’re in Seattle and I can’t go do ANYTHING fun...” Dean trailed off, while his brother rolled his eyes and looked back down at his phone.   
“Whatcha lookin at, Sammy?” There was almost a hint of indignation in his voice as he tried to get a glimpse of the screen.   
“What - no - nothing. Nothing. Just got a text from someone.”   
With one raised eyebrow the older brother humphed and turned his attention back to the road, eyes peeled for the vampire that they had been tailing back to its nest. It was odd for a vampire to be in a city, they stayed rural most of the time, but these were desperate times for monsters. Dean just hoped they’d get their break tonight and take out the nest so they could go home.   
As he was watching the sidewalks for any movement, he saw a dark figure run out of an alleyway and back up the street the way they had just come from. Pulling off to the side with a screech, Dean jumped out of the car, “Sammy, you go that way! I’m gonna follow him!” and then he took off.   
Sam jumped out and went the opposite direction, towards the alley that the figure had come out of. If it was the vampire, maybe the sound of the car had startled it and it hadn’t killed whoever it was feeding on. Gun up and flashlight shining into the darkness, Sam swept the alley looking for bodies. And boy did he find one, but it took him by surprise. Footsteps behind him and then his brother appeared, winded.  
“I couldn’t catch him… you find anyth…” his voice trailed off when he saw what Sam had illuminated with his flashlight. Behind the dumpster, nestled up against the corner was the body of a girl. A plastic bag was laying a couple feet away with snacks strewn all over the ground. She wasn’t moving and Dean surveyed what he was looking at carefully. Her long skirt was hitched up almost to her chest, one arm out of her coat and shirt torn. She was bleeding from a couple of wounds in her side and also her neck and her head, too. There was visible blood on her thighs as well, which made Dean’s chest tighten painfully. Her heels were also scraped up and bleeding a bit.   
With a sharp intake of breath, Dean approached the body and checked for a pulse. Weak but there, handprints on her neck implied that she’d been choked unconscious, but she had also hit her head. A doozy.   
“She’s still alive, Sam go get the car!” Dean barked, not even thinking about the fact that he was about to let someone else drive his prized possession.   
“Hey, hey!” he gently smacked her face, trying to wake her up, “hey, kid, you gotta wake up, come on.”   
Slowly, two eyes fluttered halfway open and a groan made its way out of her mouth. With a breathy laugh of relief, Dean scanned her face with his eyes.   
“What… where… I-”  
“I’m Dean, me and my brother just found you here, you’re pretty bad off, I just want to help,” he tried to put as much compassion in his eyes as he could to show her he wasn’t a threat. The girl tried to sit up and was stopped by gentle pressure on her shoulders, “Easy killer, you’ve got a pretty bad cut on your side, I wouldn’t go moving around too much.”  
“M’fine,” she groaned out and tried again.   
“Sweetheart, you’re really not, we’re gonna get you to a hosp-”  
“No! No hospital, no hospital,” she cried out, cutting him off.   
“Okay, okay, okay, no hospital. But you gotta get looked at. No doctors, but my brother is really good at this stuff.”  
She looked at him with half closed eyes, clearly in pain and confused, and nodded slightly, a tear dropping from the corner of her eye.   
“Dean! Come on!” Sam yelled from the road.  
“I’m gonna help you up, ok? It’s gonna hurt like a bitch but you gotta push through,” he said as he slid an arm under hers and stood up slowly. “Fuck!” she cried out as she straightened up, the injuries on her side only part of the immense pain she was feeling. A few steps and she couldn’t move anymore, her legs gave out underneath her and she crumpled, sending shocks of white hot agony from her side.   
“Okay, it’s ok, I’ve got you,” Dean said quietly as he hiked her back up and grabbed her under her legs to carry her the rest of the way.   
Once at the car, he laid her down in the backseat, both of them winded and breathing hard, tears streaming down her face.  
“She doesn’t want to go to a hospital, you think you can fix her up Sam?”  
“Yeah, yeah, but I can’t do it in the car, man, not enough room.”  
“You can… my place is close…1246 Lacelede, ‘partment 6,” came a faint voice from the girl.   
“You heard her, let's get going,” growled Dean, as he climbed in the drivers side and Sammy scooted to the passenger.   
It took them all but ten minutes to find her building, park in the alley and get inside. On the way up the stairs, they passed an old woman who gawked at the trio.  
“Hey Mrs. Langham,” the girl chuckled, and then moaned in pain again. The boys looked at the woman with taught smiles and curt nods, then were back to carrying this girl up the stairs. When they got to her door, she unlatched herself from the tall men and leaned against the doorframe, trying to reach up above the door to get the key hidden there.  
“No, no no no, let me,” Sam, the taller one said as he brought the spare down and she slumped against Dean.   
Once inside, Sam broke off from the two, letting Dean get her onto the bed that was nestled into a corner, and started rummaging through cabinets looking for anything that he could use to sew her up.   
“Bandages… in the,” she paused to cough heavily, “cabinet under sink,”   
“Ok, enough talking, we’ve got it from here, you need to lay back down,” Dean said while sliding towels that he found underneath her to somewhat protect her blankets and bed. Her breathing shallowed when she laid back down on the bed, and her eyes fluttered.   
“No, stay with me sweetheart, ” Dean had seen the matted hair and blood on the back of her head, he knew that she definitely had a concussion. Been there, done that.  
“M’so.. hungry…” she said faintly, sending a shock through Deans body.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean shot a warning glance at Sam, who dropped what he was doing and excused himself to grab something from the car. Dean had been eyeing the marks she had and it was likely she’d been turned, there was blood on her face near her mouth that didn’t belong to any of her injuries. It had been their vampire that attacked her. But to cure her, they’d need the blood of the one that bit her… It couldn’t ever be easy and he knew there was a risk in letting her stay unconscious with a concussion. A risk he had to take. Sam came running back up the stairs with a bag that had the needles and sutures and butterfly bandages that they used after bad hunts. “You heard her, Dean… we’ve gotta fix this, and fast.”  
“I know, I know. I shot him, when I was chasing him,” Dean’s eyes flicked up to meet Sam’s, “You think he might have bled enough for us to…” They both knew it was far fetched as hell, but without any significant lead, it was pretty much their only option aside from hunting that bastard down, and that would take too long.  
“Worth a shot, you want to go or me?”  
“I’ll go, you just start fixing her up, make sure she doesn’t bleed out, and be careful, I'm not sure she doesn't have a concussion, Sammy...” said the elder brother gruffly, as he walked out the door. With a tight nod, Sam took Dean’s place on the bed. 

\-----  
Jude had been woken up by tapping on her face. Everything hurt. It hurt to think. She tried to open her eyes and just barely managed to see a blurry man kneeling over her, holding her face with one of his hands. At least she could feel that much. She was also aware of the fact that she was in a state of undress that would embarrass anyone. It had been mild when she went out before, but the temperature must have dropped because it was cold as hell. Could have just been her half naked body being exposed to the air. She tried not to think about it and sit up, get a grip on her surroundings. She was pushed gently back down by the man next to her, he said something… “Easy killer, you’ve got a pretty bad cut on your side…” and then his voice faded out again. Jude tried again when she heard him mention the hospital. Her mind cleared momentarily and she panicked. No hospitals! She would fight and die rather than find herself in one again. The man offered to have his brother take a look at her injuries and she didn’t see another way. She definitely wasn’t gonna do it myself.  
“Dean, come on!” was heard faintly, and the sound of a car engine. Then, the one called Dean was helping her up, helping her walk towards a car. Jude's vision was going in and out, the pain was so intense that she was dizzy. She found that she couldn’t go anymore, it hurt too bad, and wished for death to come and take her, in that moment. Instead, she got picked up and carried to the backseat of a car where she began trying to even out the breaths that were becoming difficult to take. She told them her address and then turned all her attention to trying not to pass out again. She felt something else, aside from the pain… a hunger… she was starving. But it wasn’t regular hunger, it was ravenous. Pushing it as far as she could to the back of her mind, she tried to stay silent. Every bump hurt worse than the last and she whined, and cried as silently as possible, in pain.  
They finally found the place and on the way up, who else would they run into but that old busybody Mrs. Langham. She would surely be talking about this to all the neighbors and Jude would be hearing about it later.  
They got the girl inside and she was laid onto the only bed. She had never felt anything more comfortable. Sam was looking for something, and she pointed him in the direction of a first aid kit, just before beginning to lose her grip on consciousness.  
The tall man was next to her, she knew he was talking but couldn't hear him over the rushing in her head. She was so goddamn hungry she could take a chunk out of him.  
Next thing I knew, lights out.  
\----  
Sam looked grim as he fixed what wrong had been done to her body. The wounds on her stomach were deep, made by claws puncturing the skin of her abdomen and then ripping through when she had likely struggled. With a grimace, he cleaned the blood and closed the tears expertly. The scratches on her neck were less dire, only one needed stitches and the others just required cleaning. Her feet got some large bandaids over the wounds, after getting the little gravel pieces out.  
It only took him twenty minutes to do all of this, then he got up and grabbed her own first aid kit for gauze. She had a nasty cut on the back of her head where she’d hit the ground and he wanted to wrap it, just in case it started bleeding again. Before passing out, she'd pointed to a cabinet under the sink in the kitchen. There he found an odd assortment of things. including mail that identified her as Jude Thompson, but also the first aid kit. Gauze and antibiotic ointment were all he needed from it, as he grabbed a random shirt and ripped it apart to make a wrap, hoping it wasn’t important.  
A few clearly frantic knocks on the door sounded out and Sam let his brother in.  
“Okay, I think this will be enough, it’s gonna have to be,” Dean said darkly, brandishing a plastic bag with a surprising amount of blood in it, soaked into a now unrecognizable fabric. Not as much as they would have liked, but more than either of them thought he’d find. Grabbing a bowl from the kitchen area, he set to work mixing the ingredients while Sam finished wrapping up her head.  
Once the girl, named Jude as his brother had informed him, started stirring on the bed, Dean lifted her up a little bit so that he could pour the mixture into her mouth, hoping it found its way down her throat and not back out and onto herself. With a slight cough, she swallowed and Dean sighed, giving her the rest of the concoction before laying her head back down gently. All that was left was to wait.


	4. Chapter 4

Jude came to again, her head throbbing painfully and her whole body sore. With a groan, she attempted to lift herself up off her bed a little bit and was surprised to see two men sprawled around her tiny studio. The taller one… Sam, she remembered, was sitting on her couch, head lolled back, fast asleep. The other was sitting in one of her two kitchen chairs, eyes bright and watchful.  
“Hey, you’re up, good,” he said softly, trying to not wake his brother.  
“Uh… yeah, good…” she said before trying to get up off the bed and get to her refrigerator.  
“Nuh uh, sweetheart. Stay there, what do you need? I’ll get it for you.”  
“Water… please…” She wasn’t sure how to feel about this whole situation. Two massive, strange men were taking up most of the space in her home and while they had possibly saved her life… they were still strangers.  
Dean brought her a bottle from the fridge and sat down gently next to her on the bed.  
“Look, I know this has gotta be weird, you don’t know us, you’ve just been through hell..” he paused with a strange look on his face then continued, “but I promise we’re only trying to help.”  
“I think- I think I know that…” she said hesitantly, trusting the green eyed man more than she thought she should. Something about how he looked at her was safe. She could tell he meant her no harm and that was enough right now.  
He was a little surprised, usually it wasn’t as easy as that, and he hadn’t even told her what had happened or what attacked her.  
“Do you.. Remember… anything that happened?” He asked, hoping to understand where she was in processing.  
“Yeah. yeah I remember. Sort of. I was just getting some tylenol and snacks from the corner store… someone was following me. I really tried to get away, I did…” she faded off and stared at the ceiling, a tear or two running down her temples into her hairline. Dean just looked at her with a pained look, the lines around his eyes deepening and making him look older than he was.  
“But I couldn’t,” she said with a sniffle and a sharp breath in that burned her freshly stitched injuries, “that man took… god he took everything. I didn’t even have a chance,” she swiped at her tears with the back of her hand and dared to glance at the man next to her.  
“Sorry, sorry, I… it's not that big of a deal, you don’t have to worry about that. Thanks for your help, though. Probably would have bled out in that alley if you hadn’t come by so that’s cool,” she rushed the words out of her mouth.  
“It is. A big deal, I mean,” and that’s all Dean said, trapped in his own head, feeling the weight of guilt settle on his back. If they had killed the vamp before now, she wouldn’t have ever been involved at all. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but on some level he took the blame because that’s what he did.  
“Dean?” Sam had woken up and seen his brother staring into space, not usually a good thing.  
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” He replied, snapping out of his stupor. With a look at the girl, he stood up and sighed.  
“We can stay, if you want. We’re... freelancing so we have the time,” Dean said to her, eyes no longer bright and clear.  
“Um… no that’s okay… you’ve done so much already. I can pay you-”  
“We don’t want money, sweetheart,” a grin followed and she couldn’t help but return it, albeit more bitter than cheeky.  
“Those stitches will need to come out at some point, you’ll have to find someone to do that,” Sam told her gently, eyebrows furrowed in concern.  
“I’ll figure it out. I’ll be fine,” Jude wasn’t sure who she was aiming that remark at more, them or her. They both nodded curtly and looked around awkwardly before making their way to the door.  
“If you need any help, this is my number, don’t hesitate to call,” Dean handed her a business card that had a phone number and “Special Agent Anderson” on it. She took it without a word and tried to smile. Then they were gone. The room suddenly felt too big and too cold, and she couldn’t contain a shiver that ran through her body, causing her much pain. Turning around, she saw the bloody towels on the bed and the way the room looked messed up, like they had been rummaging around. With a heavy, sad sigh, Jude slowly made her way to the bed and peeled the towels up, revealing a slightly less bloody white comforter and cursed herself for buying white now. Contemplating stripping the bed and then deciding against, she wished that she could just disappear. The night still hadn’t sunk in and processing wasn’t really happening, so maybe a stiff drink and a smoke would help keep the memories away while she recovered a little bit.  
It was only then that she realized the flannel that was covering her. Underneath was the shirt she had been wearing that the bastard had ripped nearly clean through, her jacket nowhere to be seen. They had covered her up, the thought of which brought pinpricks of tears to her eyes and she couldn’t keep them back anymore. Forget keeping memories away… They had a mind of their own, apparently. It was all Jude could do to grab a cigarette from the kitchen table and a handle of vodka and hobble her way to the only window in the room. Shoving it open and ignoring the flare of pain from the movement, she sat down on the chair that was there and tried to stop the crying. She genuinely thought she’d be numb still, but it hurt. All over again, it hurt and it horrified her and she didn’t even see everything. There were chunks missing, but no way was she going to go look for them. Taking a long drag and attempting to calm herself down, she stared out at the brick wall that was her view, she heard the loud sound of an engine starting and realized that the two men had only just gotten to their car and were leaving. She watched as the black classic pulled out of the alley and disappeared, along with a strange hope that she’d held, picturing Dean coming back and telling her it would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on how to format it so it's not just a wall of text, sorry for those who hate that!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short little bit. I'm lucky this isn't where I ended my drafting.

The boys in the car were silent. It had been a rough night for them all, the girl included. The girl, mostly.   
“Dean it's not-”   
“I know.”   
Sam didn’t bother continuing on. There was nothing to say. Nothing left but to catch the vamp and kill him, along with his family. Both Winchesters were keenly aware of the sheer amount of damage these creatures were capable of, and how many innocent people were affected by it. Usually, it was just a job. It was sort of easy to get lost in the lore and the hunt and forget that there were real people involved and real people died at the hands of the monsters they hunted. Not that the casualties didn’t weigh heavy on them both. No, it was just easier to ignore that ache and pick up another hunt. To talk about it technically, without getting too emotionally involved, as they’d done tonight. Or at least, as Dean had done tonight. He couldn't stop thinking about the way she’d been laid out on the concrete, a complete mess and for what? She shouldn't have even been in that situation in the first place. The way her eyes had been dull and clearly showed pain when she had sat up in bed, the tears she cried before brushing off the whole experience as something not to worry about, as if he could just turn it off once he started. She looked young and like someone who is generally the happiest person in the room. Even in that hippy skirt she was wearing with a random flannel they had found in the car, she should have looked happy and carefree. Instead… instead all he had seen when he looked at her face was torture. She tried to cover it up and almost managed to, but Dean could see right through it. And there was nothing he could do. A stranger to her, a blip on the radar that quickly passed by, he only wished he could have made it go away for her.   
“Dean, get out of your head,” Sam said, looking at his brother with soft eyes and a small frown.   
“I’m good, Sammy. Just wishing we could get there faster so I can kill this son of a bitch,” ending with a growl, his glare on the road intensified and he stepped on the gas harder.   
“You’re not good. Neither am I. This was out of character for a vamp and horrible. It’s ok…”  
“Except it’s not, Sam. It’s absolutely not okay. Did you see the way she looked? Did you see how shattered she was? Cuz I did and I’m partially responsible, ok? We had this bastard not even a week ago. We- I got careless and he got away and now? Now this. So don’t tell me it's ‘ok’, Sam. This is nowhere near okay.”  
Sam pursed his lips and faced back towards the road, silence falling between them, heavy and uncomfortable and angry. Dean was right, it wasn’t okay, but how else were they supposed to deal with it? They made a mistake and someone paid for it. That’s how the job worked, but rarely did they get up close and personal with the person who paid the price. And if they did, it was often another hunter. This was just a regular girl with a regular life that got turned upside down. But holding onto that guilt was going to make everything so much worse, and Sam knew it. There was no convincing Dean, of course, but Sam knew he’d manage eventually. It was how his brother worked.   
“We’ll get him Dean,” and then Sam let silence fill the car again.


	6. Chapter 6

Jude finished her cigarette and flicked it out the window between the bars, watching it fall to the pavement three stories below her. She needed a shower. Wiping the sticky dried tears off her cheeks, she got herself up and stumbled over to the bathroom. Small and cramped and not at all what she needed, it only offered her a small mirror in which to survey the damage with her own eyes. There was blood around her mouth and splattered across her face, tear streaks tracking through it all. She vaguely remembered something warm and hot, she knew now it was blood, that had dripped onto her face from the guy. Maybe she’d gotten him with her fingernails, at least. She could only hope she’d caused some serious damage.   
With a heavy sigh, she dropped the flannel as gently as she could, so she didn’t hurt herself again, and untied the skirt from her waist. There was blood on that too, and it had been her favorite. The sight of it sent her mind on a spinning track. Just earlier that day, she’d been doing normal things. She had gone to coffee with a friend of hers from out of town and then to the park, it was a rare sunny day and she took full advantage of it. How had it all gone so sour so quickly? It gave her a headache to think about and her body felt dirty. It was dirty, physically, but this felt like something under her skin, like something crawly and revolting.   
As fast as she could manage, she stripped the rest of her clothes off, trying to ignore how messy they all were, and she turned on the shower, not waiting until the water warmed to get in. She inhaled sharply at the cold, but welcomed the shock and the numb that followed. Her injuries were covered in gauze, the wastefulness of it all hitting her dully, she should have showered before the wounds were dressed. Too late now. As the water slowly heated up, she felt her body relaxing a little bit and realized how tense she’d been. And then the dam broke again. Jude leaned against the wall of the shower, supporting her body with a shoulder and a hand crossed over her body, pressed into the wall. It was all she could do to keep upright as she sobbed until she couldn’t breathe. The water beneath her was tinted red as the blood all came loose from her skin and washed away, but she didn’t feel any cleaner inside. She wanted to scrub and scrub and scrub until it was gone, but she could barely manage to squeeze soap out of the bottle and wash herself. She felt weak. Physically and emotionally fragile and already shattered.   
She stood under the water until it went cold again, trying to avoid wetting her head, which was wrapped with fabric.   
“The water bill…” What a mundane and normal thing to have popped out of her mouth when that was truly the furthest thing from her concern. With a shiver, she stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel, scanning the room through the door for the gauze and tape that the two men had left somewhere. All business, she’d had her breakdown, it was time to get moving and forget it ever happened, like normal.   
It was nearly three a.m but she didn’t feel tired, whatsoever. It was like her brain was exhausted, but her body needed to keep going. There were bad things on the horizon if she slept and it was clear to her subconscious, if not apparent to her now. Shaking her head, she proceeded to redress her wounds and change into a very large t-shirt and some loose pants. Sore was an understatement.   
“Get a grip, Jude. You can deal with it tomorrow, but right now… you have to clean,” no one was around to hear her speak, and it gave her comfort to talk aloud. Briefly, the thought of calling the number on the business card that Dean had handed her crossed her mind. Maybe she would… no. They had left quickly and had absolutely no investment in her life, she was a complete stranger to them and it would be better if it stayed that way. Pushing the thoughts out of her head along with the memory of her face in the mirror before the shower, she began to clean and try to forget.


	7. Chapter 7

It had taken them the better part of the day and into the evening to track down the nest’s hiding spot. It was out on the edge of the city, in the suburbs, even if it was an abandoned part of the 'burbs. They made the drive out, about forty minutes from where they were staying and pulled into the driveway. It was late night, so no one would notice or raise alarm while they did their business and then snuck away without a trace.   
Dean climbed out of the Impala, a look of grim determination on his face, and Sam knew he was still beating himself up for the girl. Jude. But he let it go and tried to hope that taking out these vamps would bring him back to his normal self loathing self. He didn’t need one more person’s burden to bear. He had taken a lifetime of burdens and never gotten a break, he deserved at least this. With his own grim look, Sam unfolded himself out of the car, as well and rounded it to the trunk. No fuss, he grabbed a machete and looked at his brother.   
“Let’s go kill some monsters, eh?” He grunted and Sam nodded with finality. Then, they went in.   
It was not even an hour later when the two men found their way out of that house, bloody and bruised but the only two still alive. It was done. This was going to be a really simple case, but involving another real human had complicated it and both of them felt surprisingly accomplished for how simple it should have been.   
“We should tell her…” Dean said quietly.   
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  
“Yeah, I think it could help her… I dunno, maybe move on or deal?”   
“You might be right, for the first time ever. I remember how to get back,” Sam replied with a small smirk and then a serious expression coming to rest on his features.   
The Impala went silent as Dean’s face turned hard and thoughtful, staring at the road like it was the object of all his anger and hurt. After a solid thirty minutes of driving and taking direction from Sam and his stupid accurate memory, they pulled back into the alley next to her building. The light in her window was still on, Dean knew which one it was because before they had left, he’d looked up to see her sitting there and smoking a cigarette.   
“So, just go and knock, right? Like.. that would be the normal thing to do?” Dean asked.   
“Dude, are you.. Nervous?” Sam chuckled.  
“No! Course not! Just didn’t want to… scare her…”  
Sam just shook his head and smiled widely, letting his brother know he was onto his bullshit, “You might wanna wipe off your face or something, Dean… you’re kind of covered in vampire”.   
Dean swore and pulled his shirt up to wipe his face off and then they stepped out of the car and walked around the front and into the building. 

\---- 

A knock on the door of her apartment startled the girl sitting still on the bed. She had tried to go to sleep but was restless and itchy and uncomfortable and her brain didn’t want to shut off, much to her chagrin. So, she’d been staring at the room for the last two hours, barely noticing time pass, coming out of the stupor every once in a while to grab a t-shirt or a tissue to wipe her face that had been consistently covered in tears. Jude was sure her face was blotchy and puffy and scary. Crawling out of bed and tiptoeing to the door, she looked out the peephole and was met with a chest. And then a little further back she saw "Agent Anderson"'s face. She unlocked the door cautiously and opened it a little bit, the chain still in place.   
“Did… you guys leave something here? I didn’t see anything...”  
“No, we came back to tell you something... important...” the taller man said.  
she looked at him silently until he continued, "we could probably tell you from here but your neighbors might not be too appreciative..."  
Jude thought for a moment before closing the door, unlatching the bolt and letting them in. The first thing she noticed, once she could see them both clearly, was that they were both splattered with blood. Faces, shirts, pants, hands… her heart began to beat faster at the thought of what that might be from… it wasn’t there when they were with her before.   
“You’ve been crying,” Dean observed bluntly.   
Jude waved her hand and shook her head, motioning not to worry about it. But Dean’s eyes never left her face after that.   
“You might want to sit down, this is kind of a lot…” Sam warned. Jude scoffed. A lot? No, a lot was the past five hours. She was sure she could handle literally anything else better than this. But she obliged, sitting back on the bed and pulling the comforter up into her lap, so that he would just tell her what was going on.   
Dean sat down on one of the chairs around the small kitchen table, sighed and said, “We found the guy.”  
Her heart and stomach both dropped at the same time. Was that the blood they were covered in? Why? How?   
“He… was… a monster-”  
“You’re telling me…” Jude scoffed.   
“Not exactly the kind that you’re thinking of. He was a vampire. He was hiding out with the rest of his nest and we’ve been tracking them for a few days now. They don’t usually come into the city and you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and he’s paid for that,” Dean said sternly, not stopping to field her questions, “He’s not gonna be hurting anyone else, ever. None of them will.”  
“A vampire?” Maybe she needed to take back her confidence in dealing with anything else, “those are real?”   
“Yeah, those and so much more bad shit.”  
“What the fuck… and I thought the night couldn’t get any worse, thanks… wait… so if he was a vampire and I know that he bit me, I saw that. What does that mean for me, then?”  
“Nothing. He did get you, but we have a cure. It only works if you haven't… fed… yet and you were passed out cold so we took care of it. You don’t have anything to worry about.  
“Ha. Nothing to worry about. Funny. At least I’m not… a vampire… I guess.”  
Dean nodded and averted his eyes, not wanting to intrude on her processing. Sam stood behind his brother and stuck his hands in his pockets, hunching his shoulders down to be less imposing.   
“Is there something we can do for you? We didn’t want to leave you here alone and without knowing that he got what he deserved,” Sam said softly.  
“You don’t even know me. Why does it matter? I’d still be dealing with it even if I didn’t know those things about him.”   
“We should have killed him before he got to you. That’s why,” Dean said, roughly.   
“Who cares? Really, who cares. What’s done is done and I’m here,” her bitter tone indicating all the boys needed to know.   
“Yeah, I guess you have a point. Well… I guess if you need anything Dean gave you our number, you can reach us. We have some friends living in this city that can come help you out if you’re in any trouble, you just have to let us know,” Sam said as gently as he could.  
“Thanks… I… I appreciate your efforts. I’m just really not okay and nothing feels right. I’m sorry if I come across as rude. The help is welcome.”  
“Sweetheart, you just had one of the worst encounters of your life, probably. No one is blaming you for coming across rude. You’re doing better right now than I’d expect anyone to be doing.”  
“I’m really not,” she whispered, her voice suddenly hoarse, “I’m just holding it together right now. I’ve spent all night crying, contemplating… things… reliving what I can remember. It’s a nightmare.”   
Dean watched as she grabbed a pillow and held it tightly to her chest, his heart breaking for her. No one deserves that, he thought.   
“I know… you guys probably have to get on the road, but if you need somewhere to sleep tonight… I have a couch and some extra blankets for the floor…”   
The brothers looked at each other and shared a few silent words. She didn’t want to be alone, they could both tell that much.  
“Yeah, it is pretty late… Dean, how about I go sleep in the car and you stay here? That way no one steals the car but we get some rest.”  
Dean glanced at the girl in bed, knowing he was tired and feeling it hit him at the thought of laying down and sleeping.   
“If that’s okay with you,” he looked at her for a nod and continued when she gave it, “then I’ve got no problem with it. I am exhausted.”   
Sam nodded finally and grabbed the keys from Dean. There were blankets under the seat in the back and he would welcome any kind of rest, even in the Impala, tonight. With a final look at the two people, he stepped out the door and made his way to the car.   
“If you get uncomfortable with me being here at any point, I can go, okay? I know this is all really raw and new and so don’t feel bad for needing the stranger to leave. It’s hard to hurt my feelings,” the preface was welcome to her and she slipped off the bed to grab him some blankets. Once the couch was covered in them and there was a pillow or two there, he sat down and waited for her to get back into her bed.   
“I wasn’t going to turn the lights off.. Is that ok?” she asked.  
“Yeah that’s no problem, whatever you need.”  
And then they were both lying down, him passing out almost immediately upon stretching out the best he could on the couch and her staring at the brick wall outside, incapable of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the probably, like, five people who will see this, if you have any points of constructive criticism, I'll gladly take them!


	8. Chapter 8

Dean startled awake, unsure of what pulled him out of his sleep. There was a dark bluish light coming in from the window, which meant it was early. Early, like Sam going on a run early. His eyes darted around the room, looking for the source of his awakening and finding it in the slightly open bathroom door and quiet sounds of crying coming from behind it.   
With a sigh and a hand wiped over his face, he threw the blankets off of him and made his way to the door quietly and knocked. A startled noise came from inside the small room and Dean spoke.  
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you… You okay in there, killer?”  
“I’m fine..” came the weak reply coupled with a few small sniffles that weren’t meant to be heard, he thought.   
“I’m coming in, kiddo,” Dean pushed the door open a little bit and found himself facing a small ass bathroom. The shower was against the left wall and the ceiling was slanted down as if the whole room used to be underneath a staircase. On the wall to the right was a small pedestal sink and the toilet closest to the door, where the girl sat with her legs pulled up to her chest, back against the wall, facing the back of the bathroom. Her head was leaned back and her eyes closed. Dean crammed himself into the room and leaned against the sink, eyes never leaving her form. She was wearing a huge white t-shirt and a loose pair of sleeping pants, the hair around her hairline was wet, her tears had fallen while her head was leaned back.   
“I can’t tell ya that this was all for a reason or none of that… actually I don’t know if there’s anything I could tell you that would change a thing…” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  
“You’re right. Nothing makes this better. Don’t know why you’d waste your breath trying,” her voice was dull and worn out. She’d been crying for a while. She couldn’t feel anything except this empty, gaping hole inside of her, like a black hole. Sucking everything into it’s void and leaving no part of her with any warmth to spare. “You said it was a vampire. Tell me about them.”  
“I don’t know about that, sweetheart. That’s a road you can’t ever come back from.”  
“I need to know. I need to fucking know,” the emotion in her voice surprised even herself.   
“Well… I mean… everyone’s heard of them, it’s pretty straightforward to be honest. The stake to the heart is bullshit, though.”  
“What about the one that… the one that got me?”  
“We took care of him. Like I said before, he’s not gonna be doing anything to anyone ever again. Neither is the rest of his nest. Hopefully, that was the last one in this area, they’re not known to be in suburban spots, they like their privacy.”  
“Well that’s good to know,” she scoffed.   
Silence fell, Dean staring at the wall, unsure of what to do or say, Jude not wanting to sully the air with more words. She was already suffocating on the ones spoken before. Vampires were real. So, it just stood to reason that other things were too. And somehow, that fact made her feel something that wasn’t empty, imploding darkness. It felt real and tangible and like something to grip onto when nothing else was steady, even though she knew nothing about any of it. It was something.   
“You want a drink, Dean? I need one…”  
“Yeah I can’t turn down a drink,” Dean had a small smirk on his face, piercing through the hazy morning light. Jude slowly got herself up to her feet, wincing at the pain she still felt from her various injuries, and shuffled to the kitchen. Two glasses and a bottle of gin later, and the pair was sitting at the table under the big window. Jude had grabbed her cigarettes and glanced at Dean, "I know it's a bad habit, I kicked it before... before last night anyway. Do you mind..."  
He nodded and shrugged and picked up his drink, staring out the now open window.   
“I appreciate you and your brother…” the girl across from him vocalized after a minute, “at first I thought I’d just be dead or something if it weren’t for you but now I realize I would have been so much worse off if you hadn’t found me, of all people. I can’t even imagine.”   
“You're not wrong about that, kid. It’s a bad fate, not the worst but definitely not one I’d wish on anyone. Especially someone like you. You already have to deal with way too much from last night, without adding one more layer of fucked up to it,” Dean didn’t look at her, but continued to stare out the window in thought. His eyes indicated his mind was wandering to places he didn’t want to go. He couldn’t help but imagine the hell she’d been through, and then some.   
Jude watched his face as she took a drag of her cigarette, he was lost in thought and she found herself wanting to know what he was thinking of. She found herself wanting to know more about his life, and the strange men who knew about vampires. It was something to focus on outside of the pain in her head and she was damn well not going to let that drown her, she couldn’t.   
“What are you thinking?”  
“I…” Dean wiped a hand over his mouth and turned to face her, “I don’t know what to do here, kid. I don’t get involved with this stuff, we do the job, we get in, we get out. I don’t know what to say to make it better, I can’t fix any of this for you and I wish to hell that I could.”  
“I didn’t ask for any of that. Told you, you can’t fix it, you can’t say anything that will help. But you could talk to me still… I want to hear more. I want you to tell me about monsters,” she couldn’t help herself and she couldn’t be discrete about it. It was eating her up, she needed something to focus on.   
Dean's eyes went shifty but they steadied after a moment and he sighed, “You really want to know? Like I said, you can’t really take any of that back, it changes the game entirely, kid.”   
“I need something…” And Dean knew exactly what she meant. So he started telling her. He told her about monsters and hunting and Azazel and his dad. They talked until the sun was up and Dean's phone rang. He answered and looked at Jude apologetically.  
“Sammy? Yeah, ok, I hear you. I’ll be there in a minute. Okay, ok.”  
“Time to go?” She asked as he hung up.   
“Yeah, looks like. He found us another case, back in Kansas.”  
“Well you better get moving then, go save some people,” Jude looked out the window, feeling slightly more grounded than she did the night before. With all she’d learned, she had something to think on, something to spend energy on other than self pity and pain.   
“Yeah… Look kid, if you need anything… just call ok? I’ll give you Bobby’s number, too. He can be trusted as much as me or Sammy. If you can’t reach us, call him okay?”  
“You got it, boss,” Jude quipped dryly. Dean gave a sad smile and slapped the table with the flat of his hand, then stood.   
“Thanks, again, Dean. Tell your brother, too.”  
“Any time, kiddo. And seriously, I know I must have said it so many times, but don’t hesitate to call.”  
“I won’t, you’d better get going now,” she said, finally looking him in the eyes. He realized that he was looking into eyes that resembled what he saw in the mirror every time he looked at himself. It made him angry, sad, worried. But he could only give her a smile and nod his head, then he was out the door, fast as they had come, he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working on how the formatting is supposed to be laid out, I'm not sure if it's harder to read because it's just a huge text block. I'll get it worked out! (PS the literal tense changes about halfway through this story and I'm working on fixing that. I was hella tired when I wrote half of this.)


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